Late 30s syndrome

Late 30s is a difficult period in a man's life. From childhood, people were busy pursuing some short term goal or the other. For example, we kept ourselves busy to cross matriculation, get thru Entrance exams, to graduate, to get a job, to find love, to have kids.. then comes the late 30s when you suddenly realize that you have been going through some routine for sometime now, without a significant goal in the vicinity. And on top of it, if you are slogging at work day in and out, all of sudden you become philosophical.... "What life is this, and What am I living for?"

When rest of his old classmates are suffering from this "late 30s syndrome", Thambi Aliyan has found a unique way to stop people going philosophical. The free time he gets between scratching two itching patients, he uses his emails to scratch his old friends' old wounds (with subjects like, "ഒരു പുല്ലും നടക്കില്ല"). That brings old buddies like Kaimal Mash, Ponnangala, Jackichayan and others back to the smoking tree in Baby Beach, secret place in Kotta (Fort St Angelo), Favorite Sitting Place (in Kotta Maidan) and fight each other with all that adoloscent vigor.

Sometimes, I think, Thambi is a Master Genius. He could have made a great politician. That's what they do too. Replace real issues with emotional black mail of general public, like a bomb blast happening immediately after a massive bribery case.

But you know, I have made it a point that if Thambi does something, I will have to see things negative about it. That's why I relate innocent Thambi's unsuspecting act to that of a crooked politician. Hence, despite all of Thambi's emails, I sometimes tend to remain on my philosopher's stone rather than moving with him to the neighbourhood of old SMS.

"What is this life all about?", "What is wrong with Thambi and the society?", What can I do to change Thambi and the society?", "What is the big deal if I just live, I die and I am forgotten like billions before me?".

I am deep in thoughts at times, my wife thinks this is sheer laziness. She cribs I am sitting idle when she calls out for help in household chores. If I don't find an answer to my questions soon, I know, the only way to survive with family is to be like Thambi, acting like a teenager throughout my life. But my ego does not allow me to be like Thambi.... Thambi and I should be poles apart, no matter what!

HAPPINESS IS A VOYAGE...

We convince ourselves that life will be better once we are married, have a baby, then another.
Then we get frustrated because our children are not old enough, and that all will be well when they are older.
Then we are frustrated because they reach adolescence and we must deal with them. Surely we’ll be happier when they grow out of the teen years.
We tell ourselves our life will be better when our spouse gets his/her act together, when we have a nicer car, when we can take a vacation, when we finally retire.
The truth is that there is no better time to be happy than right now. If not, then when?
Your life will always be full of challenges. It is better to admit as much and to decide to be happy in spite of it all.
For the longest time, it seemed that life was about to start. Real life.
But there was always some obstacle along the way, an ordeal to get through, some work to be finished, some time to be given, a bill to be paid. Then life would start.
There isn’t any road to happiness.
Happiness IS the road. So, enjoy every moment.
Stop waiting for school to end, for a return to school, to lose ten pounds, to gain ten pounds, for work to begin, to get married, for Friday evening, for Sunday morning, waiting for a new car, for your mortgage to be paid off, for spring, for summer, for fall, for winter, for the first or the fifteenth of the month, for your song to be played on the radio, to die, to be reborn… before deciding to be happy.

Happiness is a VOYAGE, not a DESTINATION.
There is no better time to be happy than… NOW!
Live and enjoy the moment.(Author unknown)

Now, think and try to answer these questions:
1 – Name the 5 richest people in the world.
2 – Name the last 5 Miss Universe winners.
3 – Name the last 10 Nobel Prize winners.
4 – Name the last 10 winners of the Best Actor Oscar.

Can’t do it? Rather difficult, isn’t it?
Don’t worry, nobody remembers that.

Now answer these questions:
1 – Name 3 teachers who contributed to your education.
2 – Name 3 friends who helped you in your hour of need.
3 – Think of a few people who made you feel special.
4 – Name 5 people that you like to spend time with.

More manageable? It’s easier, isn’t it?
The people who mean something to your life are not rated “the best”, don’t have the most money, haven’t won the greatest prizes…
They are the ones who care about you, take care of you, those who, no matter what, stay close by.
Think about it for a moment. Life is very short!
And you, in which list are you? Don’t know?

Applause dies away!
Trophies gather dust!
Winners are soon forgotten.
Let me give you a hand.
You are not among the most “famous”, but among those to whom I remember to send this message…

Some time ago, at the Seattle Olympics, nine athletes, all mentally or physically challenged, were standing on the start line for the 100 m race.
The gun fired and the race began. Not everyone was running, but everyone wanted to participate and win.
They ran in threes, a boy tripped and fell, did a few somersaults and started crying. The other eight heard him crying.
They slowed down and looked behind them. They stopped and came back… All of them…
A girl with Down’s Syndrome sat down next to him, hugged him & asked, “Feeling better now?”
Then, all nine walked shoulder to shoulder to the finish line.
The whole crowd stood up and applauded.
And the applause lasted a very long time…

People who witnessed this still talk about it.
Why?
Because deep down inside us, we all know that the most important thing in life is much more than winning for ourselves.

The most important thing in this life is to help others to win.
Even if that means slowing down and changing our own race.

If we pass this message , perhaps we will succeed in changing our heart, perhaps someone else’s heart, as well…

“A candle loses nothing if it is used to light another one.”

Two choices..........

What would you do?....you make the choice. Don't look for a punch line, there isn't one. Read it anyway.

At a fundraising dinner for a school that serves children with learning disabilities, the father of one of the students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended. After extolling the school and it's dedicated staff, he offered a question:
'When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does, is done with perfection.
Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do.
Where is the natural order of things in my son?'
The audience was stilled by the query.
The father continued. 'I believe that when a child like Shay, who was mentally and physically disabled comes into the world, an opportunity to realize true human nature presents itself, and it comes in the way other people treat that child....'
Then he told the following story:
Shay and I had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball. Shay asked, 'Do you think they'll let me play?' I knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shay on their team, but as a father I also understood that if my son were allowed to play, it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging and some confidence to be accepted by others in spite of his handicaps.
I approached one of the boys on the field and asked (not expecting much) if Shay could play. The boy looked around for guidance and said, 'We're losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we'll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning.'
Shay struggled over to the team's bench and, with a broad smile, put on a team shirt. I watched with a small tear in my eye and warmth in my heart. The boys saw my joy at my son being accepted.
In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay's team scored a few runs but was still behind by three.
In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the right field. Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as I waved to him from the stands.

In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay's team scored again.
Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat.
At this juncture, do they let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the game?
Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat. Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible because Shay didn't even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball.
However, as Shay stepped up to the plate, the pitcher, recognizing that the other team was putting winning aside for this moment in Shay's life, moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least make contact.
The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed.
The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly towards Shay.
As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball right back to the pitcher.
The game would now be over.
The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman.
Shay would have been out and that would have been the end of the game.
Instead, the pitcher threw the ball right over the first baseman's head, out of reach of all team mates.
Everyone from the stands and both teams started yelling, 'Shay, run to first!
Run to first!'
Never in his life had Shay ever run that far, but he made it to first base.
He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled.
Everyone yelled, 'Run to second, run to second!'
Catching his breath, Shay awkwardly ran towards second, gleaming and struggling to make it to the base.
By the time Shay rounded towards second base, the right fielder had the ball. The smallest guy on their team who now had his first chance to be the hero for his team.
He could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman for the tag, but he understood the pitcher's intentions so he, too, intentionally threw the ball high and far over the third-baseman's head.
Shay ran toward third base deliriously as the runners ahead of him circled the bases toward home.
All were screaming, 'Shay, Shay, Shay, all the Way Shay'
Shay reached third base because the opposing shortstop ran to help him by turning him in the direction of third base, and shouted, 'Run to third!
Shay, run to third!'
As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams, and the spectators, were on their feet screaming, 'Shay, run home! Run home!'
Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the grand slam and won the game for his team.

'That day', said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, 'the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world'.
Shay didn't make it to another summer. He died that winter, having never forgotten being the hero and making me so happy, and coming home and seeing his Mother tearfully embrace her little hero of the day!
____________________________________________________________________________________
A LITTLE FOOT NOTE TO THIS STORY:
We all send thousands of jokes through the e-mail without a second thought, but when it comes to sending messages about life choices, people hesitate.
The crude, vulgar, and often obscene pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion about decency is too often suppressed in our schools and workplaces.
We all have thousands of opportunities every single day to help realize the 'natural order of things.'
So many seemingly trivial interactions between two people present us with a choice:
Do we pass along a little spark of love and humanity or do we pass up those opportunities and leave the world a little bit colder in the process?
A wise man once said every society is judged by how it treats it's least fortunate amongst them.

PARENTS ARE PRECIOUS!!

This was narrated by an IAF pilot at
a Seminar recently on Human Relations :
Venkatesh Balasubramaniam (who works for IIT) describes how his gesture of booking an air ticket for his father, his maiden
flight, brought forth a rush of emotions and made him (Venkatesh) realize that how much we all take for granted when it comes to our
parents.

My parents left for our native place on Thursday and we went to the airport to see them off. In fact, my father had never
traveled by air before, so I just took this opportunity to make him experience the same. In spite of being asked to book tickets by train, I got them tickets on Jet Airways. The moment I handed over the tickets
to him, he was surprised to see that I had booked them by air. The excitement was very apparent on his face, waiting for the time of
travel. Just like a school boy, he was preparing himself on that day and we all went to the airport, right from using the trolley for his luggage, the baggage check-in and asking for a window seat and waiting
restlessly for the security check-in to happen. He was thoroughly enjoying himself and I, too, was overcome with joy watching him
experience all these things.
As they were about to go in for the security check-in, he walked up to me with tears in his eyes and thanked me. He became very emotional and it was not as if I had done something great but the fact that this mean a great deal to him. When he said thanks, I told him there was no need to thank me. But later, thinking about the entire incident, I looked back at my life. As a child, how many dreams our parents have made come true. Without understanding the financial situation, we ask for cricket bats, dresses, toys, outings, etc. Irrespective of their affordability, they have catered to all our needs. Did we ever think about the sacrifices they had to make to accommodate many of our wishes? Did we ever say thanks for all that they have done for us? Same way, today when it comes to our children, we always think that we should put them in a good school. Regardless of the amount of donation, we will ensure that we will have to give the child the best, theme parks, toys, etc. But we tend to forget that our parents have sacrificed a lot for our sake to see us happy, so it is our responsibility to ensure that their dreams are realized and what they failed to see when they were young. It is ouo responsibility to ensure that they experience all those and their life is complete.
Many times, when my parents had asked me some questions, I have actually answered back without patience. When my daughter asks me something, I have been very polite in answering. Now I realize how they would have felt at those moments. Let us realize that old age is a second childhood and
just as we take care of our children, the same attention and same care needs to be given to our parents and elders. Rather than my dad saying thank you to me, I would want to say sorry for making him wait so long for this small dream. I do realize how much he has sacrificed for my sake and I will do my best to give the best possible attention to all their wishes.
Just because they are old does not mean that they will have to give up everything and keep sacrificing for their grandchildren also They have wishes, too.
Take care of your parents. THEY ARE PRECIOUS.


(Courtesy: AACHU Ashy)

A story of two friends

A story tells that two friends were walking through the desert. During some point of the journey they had an argument, and one friend slapped the other one in the face. The one who got slapped was hurt, but without saying anything, wrote in the sand:

TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE.

They kept on walking until they found an oasis, where they decided to take a bath.
The one who had been slapped got stuck in the mire and started drowning, but the friend saved him. After he recovered from the near drowning, he wrote on a stone:

TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SAVED MY LIFE.

The friend who had slapped and saved his best friend asked him, 'After I hurt you,
you wrote in the sand and now, you write on a stone, why?' The other friend replied
'When someone hurts us we should write it down in sand where winds of forgiveness can erase it away. But, when someone does something good for us, we must engrave it in stone where no wind can ever erase it.'

LEARN TO WRITE YOUR HURTS IN THE SAND AND TO CARVE YOUR BENEFITS IN STONE!!!

They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but then an entire life to forget them.

മമ്മൂട്ടിയോ മോഹന്‍ലാലോ?

This is like a chicken or egg question. You many think you are entering into an intellectual exercise to prove your point, but all you do is “waste precious time”, I bet.

My friend, Aliyan Thambi is a self proclaimed hard core Mohanlal fan. But I seriously doubt he has soft corner for Mammooty. Anyway, I have made it a point ever since we met that I should always take the position opposite to him, no matter what. Though we shared all our inner secrets with each other right from school, we always kept this rivalry alive. When we are at peace, he sometimes tells me “I think we became close friends now”. I reply, looking at a distance and as slow as I can “You know what, I think we always were”. Then we go back to take our positions again.

Though I don the lungis of a Mammotty fan before him, I hate this entire fan fair. I feel like kicking their butt when I read about the envoy of Land Cruisers and Limousines on Dubai streets. “Idiots!” That’s how I flush out my anger (jealousy?).

My reason is, the moment you become a fan, you stereotype a talented actor. You only realize the tragedy, when you see the beggars coming your way. If you have a close look at them, your neurons might take you to the pages of "നാനാ”, “വെള്ളിനക്ഷത്രം” or “ചിത്രഭൂമി” stored in the cerebrum of your brain. They were once cheerful “Producers” of these formulaic superstar movies, the names of which even a hard core fan like Aliyan Thambi would prefer to forget.

Recently Mohanlal lamented, when some hooligans vandalized the sets of his movie in Aluva, about the loss it could make to an industry already under crisis. There is a crisis in Malayalam Film industry. I think it is not because of the advent of TV or pirated CDs. It is because of people like Aliyan Thambi, who go to theatres with banners, Peepees and chendas, just for their hero and not for the movie.

It appears to be harmless fun. But I disagree, not because Aliyan Thambi is on the other side (may be that's the primary reason). This human nature, to see things at its periphery without going deep inside, is the root cause of all major problems that we face today, for example Communalism, familial tensions, individual stress…..

That's why I tell it is neither Mammooty nor Mohanlal we should celebrate, it is the characters they play. We should go deeper inside.

In life, it is not the body that we should always think about for joy, we should have a little deeper insight. Our body is just a periphery, the real lasting joy comes from our soul.

Though he might need some digestive pills to take this philosophy in, I hope Aliyan Thambi will agree with me. After all, we have always been friends, real close friends!

My weekend ends here….. Till we meet again….. Peace be to you all!