Late 30s syndrome

Late 30s is a difficult period in a man's life. From childhood, people were busy pursuing some short term goal or the other. For example, we kept ourselves busy to cross matriculation, get thru Entrance exams, to graduate, to get a job, to find love, to have kids.. then comes the late 30s when you suddenly realize that you have been going through some routine for sometime now, without a significant goal in the vicinity. And on top of it, if you are slogging at work day in and out, all of sudden you become philosophical.... "What life is this, and What am I living for?"

When rest of his old classmates are suffering from this "late 30s syndrome", Thambi Aliyan has found a unique way to stop people going philosophical. The free time he gets between scratching two itching patients, he uses his emails to scratch his old friends' old wounds (with subjects like, "ഒരു പുല്ലും നടക്കില്ല"). That brings old buddies like Kaimal Mash, Ponnangala, Jackichayan and others back to the smoking tree in Baby Beach, secret place in Kotta (Fort St Angelo), Favorite Sitting Place (in Kotta Maidan) and fight each other with all that adoloscent vigor.

Sometimes, I think, Thambi is a Master Genius. He could have made a great politician. That's what they do too. Replace real issues with emotional black mail of general public, like a bomb blast happening immediately after a massive bribery case.

But you know, I have made it a point that if Thambi does something, I will have to see things negative about it. That's why I relate innocent Thambi's unsuspecting act to that of a crooked politician. Hence, despite all of Thambi's emails, I sometimes tend to remain on my philosopher's stone rather than moving with him to the neighbourhood of old SMS.

"What is this life all about?", "What is wrong with Thambi and the society?", What can I do to change Thambi and the society?", "What is the big deal if I just live, I die and I am forgotten like billions before me?".

I am deep in thoughts at times, my wife thinks this is sheer laziness. She cribs I am sitting idle when she calls out for help in household chores. If I don't find an answer to my questions soon, I know, the only way to survive with family is to be like Thambi, acting like a teenager throughout my life. But my ego does not allow me to be like Thambi.... Thambi and I should be poles apart, no matter what!

UNFRIEND!!

"Unfriend" has been named the word of the year by the New Oxford American Dictionary, chosen from a list of finalists with a tech-savvy bent.

Unfriend was defined as a verb that means to remove someone as a "friend" on a social networking site such as Facebook.

"It has both currency and potential longevity," said Christine Lindberg, senior lexicographer for Oxford's U.S. dictionary program, in a statement.

"In the online social networking context, its meaning is understood, so its adoption as a modern verb form makes this an interesting choice for Word of the Year."

Other words deemed finalists for 2009 by the dictionary's publisher, Britain's Oxford University Press, came from other technological trends, the economy, and political and current affairs.

In technology, there was "hashtag," which is the hash sign added to a word or phrase that lets Twitter users search for tweets similarly tagged; "intexticated" for when people are distracted by texting while driving, and "sexting," which is the sending of sexually explicit SMSes and pictures by cellphone.

Finalists from the economy included "freemium," meaning a business model in which some basic services are provided for free, and "funemployed," referring to people taking advantage of newly unemployed status to have fun or pursue other interests.

In the political and current affairs section, finalists included "birther," meaning conspiracy theorists challenging President Barack Obama's U.S. birth certificate, and "choice mom," a person who chooses to be a single mother.

Novelty words making the shortlist were "deleb," meaning a dead celebrity, and "tramp stamp," referring to a tattoo on the lower back, usually on a woman.

(Writing by Belinda Goldsmith, Editing by Miral Fahmy, NEW YORK (Reuters Life!)

The Malayali..

The Double Life Of Bobby, Baby, Blossom, Biju And Shaji
Lost causes, alcoholism, eve-teasing, world politics, parochialism. Is there no end to the contradictions in the Malayali male, asks NISHA SUSAN


IN A COUNTRY as diverse as ours, communities survive on stereotypes of the ‘other’. It’s a way of classifying and ordering an otherwise anarchic world. In this wealth of comforting pre-judgments, the vein of Malayali stereotypes is particularly golden, replete with two-line jokes and an accent everyone imagines they can imitate. Scratch an Indian lightly and there will quickly emerge the stereotypes of the Malayali drunk, the Malayali letch, the Malayali trade unionist, the Malayali movie star or bureaucrat. “To get my work done, I had to run from Pillai to post,” grins a quiet Bengali about a government office expedition. Here come the clowns. Let the jokes begin.

One frequenter of online dating sites says he never tells a woman he’s Malayali until he’s absolutely sure of her affection
The world of the Malayali man is one where everyone seems to read and the sense of entitlement is so strong it can skew national statistical surveys. (Journalist P Sainath once compared the attitude of the starving Uttar Pradesh farmer — who responds to survey queries with gratitude for what he has — to the relatively prosperous Kerala farmer who curses WTO regulations, the government and the state of agriculture in the South Zone.) It is also a world of inexplicable quixoticism and seemingly lost causes. Kerala is a place where a public works department employee takes a year off to redesign preschool education for his village, and succeeds so well that 18 countries send their representatives to study the model.

Yet, seeking the typical Malayali man is a slippery affair. Each one looks out moodily and introspectively at you from behind varying amounts of facial hair. He’s sure he’s not typical, sure he’s misunderstood by his community. Simultaneously, he likes being Malayali and sure he’s the distilled Malayali, and others crude abominations.

If you are a shameless believer in the utility of stereotypes you would agree Malayali men are inclined to wanderlust, substance disorders and angst. Mallus do get around. The average Malayali in Tiruvalla, Tippasandra and Timbuktu sets forth blithely towards the furthest point he can imagine. The pursuit of Mammon doesn’t quite explain it. Other communities have sold ice-golas, pushed mutta-dosa carts and made their fortune not so far from home. But the Malayali man? A teashop owner in Leh, a temple keeper in Madhya Pradesh, an arms dealer in Washington, a doctor in Nigeria, a botany teacher in Papua New Guinea – when these Malayali men left home neither they nor their families asked why they had to go so far. Once there, the Malayali abandons his languid air in favour of a furious work ethic and labours to arrange visas for the cousins he barely spoke to at home. For a long while now the location of choice has been the Gulf, from where came infinitely expandable suitcases and infinite variations of a particular phenomena: men who see their wives and children once a year for a month, men who bring up their children in Kerala while their wives work abroad, men who have never known what it is to be parented so they don’t know how to bring up children. It’s fairly normal in Kerala to have a family where four generations have grown up without parents. Men’s relationships with their mothers is thus either distant or stunted: one barely knows what these gaps are doing to the social fabric of Kerala, except when you speculate why it’s the country’s suicide capital.


FOR MANY Malayali men in their 20s and 30s, a wide oeuvre of characters played by superstar Mohanlal and filmmaker Srinivasan (also classic sidekick and genius scriptwriter) represents Everyman. The definitive film in this lot is Naadodikattu (1987), where two young men, lazy and proud, can’t get white collar job in Kerala and, trying to get to Dubai, land up in Chennai. The hero needs to transcend not villains but his own self-destructive self. The Naadodikattu heroine, like others in this genre, is the minor but sensible counterpoint to the hero’s angst. She has a job and a well-ordered household and doesn’t worry about her place in the pecking order.

The Malayali man’s world is one where the most normal way of expressing romantic interest is the tepid sentence – ‘I like you’
As if this was too much of a good thing, in the late 1990s came a wave of movies written by Renji Panicker, with a word-gnashing macho hero who is simultaneously establishment and anarchist (the angry IAS officer, the furious journalist, the enraged cop). The heroine is just as repulsive – a caricature of the deracinated, urban ball-busting woman suitably tamed by the hero’s fusillade of verbiage and moustached masculinity. The shocking misogyny of Panicker’s films brings us to the most frequent cause of a Malayali man’s disavowal of his roots. Wrapped in many Malayali men’s hatred of their community is hostility towards women. One Malayali frequenter of online dating sites says he never tells a woman his identity until he’s absolutely sure of her affection. “They usually leap in shock and say, ‘If I’d known I wouldn’t have befriended you.’ It’s happened to me enough times. I don’t want them to think I’m predatory.”

Men and women relate to each other with some amount of discomfort everywhere in the world. But the thoughtful Malayali man finds himself in an embarrassing bind. He sees Malayali identity defined by disrespect and frank hostility towards women, by the horror stories narrated by Kerala women. This tempers the thinking man who otherwise would be prould to call himself a Malayali.

PEOPLE OUTSIDE Kerala, especially those taken in by the glamour of the state’s Human Development Index, find it difficult to believe that women have a difficult time here. In 2004, the Malayalam Manorama sent six women reporters into cities and district capitals across the state for six days to chart their safety in public spaces. The reporters’ diaries resemble mythical journeys into the Underworld as each woman writes about being groped, fondled and followed by multiple men.

While being felt up is a lively danger anywhere in public in Kerala, the real specialisation of the Malayali man on the strut is ‘comment-addi’ – a fine ear for dialogue, cinematic or otherwise, is turned into remarks on anatomy or character sharp enough to peel your skin off. Ratheesh Kumar teaches at IGNOU, Delhi, and becomes passionate when he talks of avoiding other Malayali men. “I can’t stand it when I’m stuck in the train with a bunch of Malayalis, seemingly middle-aged and respectable. They assume that I’d enjoy passing dirty remarks with them about the women out of earshot.”

The Malayali man at home is just as complicated a creature. The love story has rarely been central to Malayalam film plots. Between obscenity and near-meaningless poesy, Malayalam language doesn’t accommodate garden-variety love. The Malayali man’s world is one where the standard, most normal way of expressing romantic interest is the tepid sentence – ‘I like you.’

A Malayali activist says, ‘When we did the padayatra to Delhi we needed committee meetings before we agreed to cross the street’
J Devika, an academic at the Centre for Development Studies, Thiruvananthapuram, talks of how the combination of highly educated women and the thrall of consumerism has led to a particular kind of marriage in Kerala. No arranged marriage (and frequently even the ‘love marriage’) begins without the complex negotiation of dowry. Property acts as a stabilising third party in the marriage, where a professional man feels assured that it’s only his due to earn upward of Rs 20 lakh in dowry. “Couples are equally interested in pursuing consumerism and in creating children who are groomed for the global job market. The man is then happy to delegate most of the duties of controlling children to the wife. And he can be focussed on earning money.”


However, men still require their wives to maintain a highly controlled image of ‘decent’ femininity. This desired paragon being such an asexual object, it’s not surprising that Devika calls Kerala “God’s own country of adultery”. An elaborate system of deception is maintained so that the material comforts of marriage can be enjoyed alongside the disorienting pleasures of sex.

THE STEREOTYPE of the drinking Malayali man is more easily verified. Kerala’s per capita consumption of liquor is 8.3 litres per annum, the country’s highest. Men struggle with the morality of drinking – fluctuating between broad enjoyment and wanting it banned for its cyclonic devastation. Illicit hooch rejoices under names such as Yesu Christu (Jesus Christ) — drink it and rise after three days — or Manavati (The Bride) — drink it and have your head permanently lowered. Unlike the men huddled in cars swigging furtively in Haryana and Punjab, drinking is an everyday, public and communal all-male activity in Kerala – a venue for conversation and lavish spreads of food.

Anup Kutty, lead guitarist for the band Menwhopause, grew up in West Delhi and has a particular fondness for Mallu drinking banter. “In Delhi, people have small talk and gossip but very little other conversation. Anywhere in Kerala, you can sit down for a drink and ordinary people, even working class people, are talking politics, Kerala or South America. They are talking about cinema or some existential crisis.” Is this wishful self-description? Kutty’s description is hotly contested by other Malayali men, who say they can’t bear to be around these drinking conversations, which are an excuse for crude gossip about money and women.

‘The Malayali bureaucrat is overeducated and anarchic, and wants to control anarchy in other people,’ says Dilip Cherian
Kutty’s cheerful notion of an articulate working class is also strongly contested by others. The allegation states that, under the guise of democratisation, Kerala erases intellectual adventure and doesn’t allow individuals to sparkle. Ravi Shankar Etteth, Delhi-based cartoonist and journalist, says, “Why is it we have no heroes in Kerala since the 1950s? When the lumpen become the commissars of culture, it requires everyone to be the same.” Not just Etteth, almost every man you speak to will invoke the crabs-in-a-pot metaphor to illustrate destructive jealousies in Kerala. But, on the other hand, the Malayali man’s compulsive sense of egalitarianism is the stuff of satire too. A Malayali activist from the Narmada Bachao Andolan narrates the story of a padayatra to Delhi. “The groups from Maharashtra and Chhattisgarh agreed to go and that’s all they needed to know. With the Kerala group I was leading, I had to have a committee meeting before we agreed to cross the street.” Ramu Menon, a 29- year-old NGO consultant currently based in Ahmedabad, left Kerala years ago and relishes many of the stereotypes: “It’s true. There are no leaders in Kerala. Everyone is a leader in Kerala.” But nitpicking and self-righteous political disputes bring Kerala to a standstill and often fuel the already-healthy Malayali bellicosity.

The Malayali man is so relentlessly belligerent towards regulation that it is a truism that all seats of power in Kerala can expect to be continuously challenged. This tendency is, on the surface, contradictory to the growing power of Malayali bureaucrats. Prim, thin-lipped and precise, over the last couple of decades the Malayali phalanx has been on the way to replacing the UP cadre in collective influence. Image guru Dilip Cherian — one of our most influential Malayali men and perhaps the only one to ever be seen on Page 3, comments. “The Malayali bureaucrat is a result of three confluencing factors. They are overeducated, have a desire to flee Kerala and are anarchic. That means they are bright, mobile and have an overarching instinct to control anarchy in other people.”

Intellect and cynicism can be a tiring business. Perhaps it’s a reflection of Kerala’s longing to be no longer trapped in the mind that the energetic physicality and frank passions of Tamil cinema are hugely popular among Malayalis. This cinema is popular in a way different from the way North Indian culture is gaining ground in Kerala. It’s also reflected in the upwardly mobile avoiding Kerala’s bizarre naming practices in favour of Sanskritised names. Blogger Sidin Vadakut — a Malayali whose online reputation is founded on his self-deprecatory lad lit — once wrote about an imaginary Malayali stuck with an emasculating name: “Business is safe in the hands of the Mallu manager. After all, with a name like Blossom Babykutty he can’t use his Rs 30,000 salary anywhere. Blossom gave up on society when in school they automatically enrolled him for cookery classes. Yes, my dear reader, nomenclature is the first nail in a coffin of neglect and hormonal pandemonium. In a kinder world they would just… throw him off the balcony.


Where the rest of the country imagines Kerala’s education levels translate into a modern and liberal state, Malayali men complain that it’s yet a very narrow and stifling society. Gens, a 26-year-old lawyer in Pattanamthitta grew up in Kerala and went to law school in Kolkata before returning home. Like many others who returned, he’s bitter. Gens particularly hates the conformity of appearance that he says Kerala society requires of him. “You can’t even have a different hairstyle without being punished,” he says. Nevertheless, it’s difficult to discount the political imagination or culture capital of even the most deprived Malayali man, when compared to the rest of the country’s. A few summers ago, this writer spent a befuddled fortnight with a Malayali filmmaker travelling across Kerala. The entourage was composed of roaring drunks and intense, quiet men, but their tenderness was revealed in the way they carried the dying flame of Kerala’s Film Society Movement. Between two tiny towns in Wayanad there were enough strange sights for a lifetime: Kurosawa-loving adivasi girls (“my favourite is Rashomon”), auto drivers watching French films and a middle-aged rehabilitated sex worker looking forward to an upcoming screening of Krzysztof Kieslowski’s The Double Life of Veronique. And all because the small filmmaker and his friends, incoherent and drunk after sunset, spent their days carrying ethereal cinema and a heavy projector to villages.

IN CINEMA, in the distinctive parody culture, in literary fiction, in iconic comic strips, the Malayali man has always used understated irony (or crude wit) to cut the oily sheen of sincerity (women, on the other hand, are expected to be uniformly sober). “Malayalis in general have a tendency to fall into existential angst.

And humour obviously is the only antidote. Probably it neutralises sentimentality too,” says Baiju Parthan, one of the many Malayali artists who live in Mumbai (the canard being that they all live next door to each other in a Borivili colony called Immaculate Conception). From the 18th century poet Kunjan Nambiar to Channel V’s Lola Kutty, the Malayali wit has combined meanness with a silly grin. It’s part of the encompassing Malayali self-hatred that this wonderful trait, too, is looked at suspiciously.

Some years ago, a Mumbai filmmaker was in a tiny fishing village in north Kerala which was resisting the sand mining industry. The sandminers were carting away the estuary, one truckful at a time. At the heart of the film and the movement were the fishermen, who had set up a nursery to care for the eggs laid by turtles on their beach. The enterprise was all dashing beard and moonlit rescues, but the fishermen leading the movement stonewalled any attempt to deify them. At her wit’s end to understand the movement’s emotional landscape, the filmmaker asked, “When you’re in the boat at high sea, do you discuss romance?” Came the laconic, deadpan response, “Premathinapetti samsarkinnangil privacy vende? (To speak of love don’t you need privacy?)”

One can only seek romance in the Malayali man despite him.


From Tehelka Magazine, Vol 6, Issue 44, Dated November 07, 2009

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You've got a mail !!!

At a time when forwarding of e-mails has become very common
among internet users, many users are unaware that they are at a high risk of
being caught in a legal tangle owing to the newly-inducted provisions in the
Information Technology Act.

As per the amendments which were notified last month, forwarding of
offensive e-mails as well as e-mails containing sexual contents would attract
jail term of between two to ten years and fine up to Rs 10 lakh.

As per Section 66 of the Act, sending of offensive content by means of a
computer or a communication device will attract provisions which are punishable.
Similarly, sending false information with the intention of causing annoyance,
inconvenience, danger, obstruction, insult, injury, criminal intimidation,
enmity, hatred or ill-will would face imprisonment of upto three years and fine.

Any mail send for the purpose of causing annoyance or inconvenience or to
deceive or mislead the addressee or recipient about the origin of such messages
would attract imprisonment.

Receiving a stolen computer or communication device with the knowledge that
it is stolen one will attract imprisonment of upto three years and fine of up to
Rs 1 lakh

Under Section 66(C), fraudulent use of the electronic signature, password
or any other unique identification feature of any other person, will face
imprisonment of upto three years and fine of upto Rs 1 lakh. Cheating by
personation using computer would attract three years’ imprisonment and fine of
upto Rs 1 lakh.

Capturing and sending of pictures of any person or `private area’ without
the person’s consent by violating his or her privacy shall be punishable with
imprisonment of upto three years or fine exceeding Rs 2 lakh.

Under Section 67, transmission of materials with sexually explicit
contents, including those pertaining to children, through computer would attract
imprisonment of five years and fine of Rs 10 lakh in case of first conviction.
In the event of second or subsequent conviction, it would be seven year
imprisonment and fine up to Rs 10 lakh.

__________________________________________________________________________________

Online edition of India's National
Newspaper
Monday, Nov 23,
2009

| Kerala - Thiruvananthapuram

Two youths arrested under IT Act

Staff Reporter

THIRUVANANTHAPURAM: The police have arrested two persons allegedly for making
changes to an e-mail carrying the photograph of a palatial mansion by adding a
caption stating that it belonged to Communist Party of India (Marxist) State
secretary Pinarayi Vijayan.
At a press conference here on Sunday, J. Sukumara Pillai, Deputy
Superintendent of Police, Cyber Police Station, said K.R. Manoj, 39, and
Karthik, 20, were arrested under the amended Section 66 A of the IT Act.
Manoj, of Bharanikavu, Kayamkulam, is a welding technician based in an
African country. Karthik, 20, a chartered accountancy student, is a resident of
East Gate, Ettumanoor, in Kottayam district.
Mr. Pillai said Manoj made additions to the mail received from one Dinesh
Nair based in Dubai and forwarded it to several mailing groups. The 20-year-old
Karthik also made additions to the mail and forwarded it to several people.
The mansion in the mail has been traced to Kunnamkulam in Thirssur district
and is owned by Pramosh, working in Saudi Arabia. Pramosh is the producer of a
television serial and some episodes of the serial were shot in the mansion.
The CPI(M) State secretary had taken up the issue with Director-General of
Police Jacob Punnose following information that the malicious mail was being
widely circulated. Mr. Punnose forwarded the complaint to the Cyber Police
Station.
Mr. Pillai said it was the first FIR registered by the station after the
amended Section 66A of the IT Act came into effect on October 27.

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കുന്നത്ത് ഫാര്‍മസ്യൂട്ടിക്കല്‍ ഉടമ കെ സി എബ്രഹാം എന്ന വ്യക്തിയെ ആഴ്ചകള്‍ക്ക് മുന്‍പുവരെ മലയാളിയുടെ ലൈംഗികശേഷി കൂട്ടാനായി അവതരിച്ച അവതാര പുരുഷനായി നിലനിര്‍ത്തിയതും ഈ പരസ്യവാചകം തന്നെ. ലൈംഗിക പീഡനങ്ങള്‍ക്കും ബലാത്സംഗക്കേസുകള്‍ക്കുമൊന്നും ഒരു പഞ്ഞവുമില്ലാത്ത നാട്ടില്‍ ലൈംഗിക ഉത്തേജനം വര്‍ധിപ്പിക്കുമെന്ന് പറഞ്ഞ് എന്ത് കടലപ്പിണ്ണാക്ക് കലക്കി കൊടുത്താലും വാങ്ങിക്കുടിക്കുമെന്ന് മനസ്സിലാക്കിയെടുത്തിടത്താണ് എബ്രഹാം എന്ന വ്യവസായിയുടെ വിജയം.

ലൈംഗിക പ്രശ്നങ്ങളുള്ള 30 ലക്ഷം പേരുണ്ടെന്ന് കണക്കാക്കുന്ന മലയാള നാട്ടില്‍ ഏകദേശം 5000 കോടി രൂപയാണ് ഒരു വര്‍ഷം ലൈംഗിക ഉത്തേജക മരുന്നുകള്‍ക്കായി ചെലവഴിക്കുന്നത്. നാട്ടില്‍ തുടങ്ങുന്ന ഏതു വ്യവസായത്തെയും സംശയ കണ്ണോടെ വീക്ഷിക്കുന്ന മലയാളി മനസ്സ് എബ്രഹാമിനെ തങ്ങളുടെ രക്ഷകനായാ‍ണ് കണ്ടതെന്ന് നാലു വര്‍ഷം കൊണ്ട് മുസ്‌ലി പവര്‍ നേടിയ വളര്‍ച്ച വ്യക്തമാക്കുന്നു.

കുറച്ചുവര്‍ഷങ്ങള്‍ക്ക് മുന്‍പുവരെ മാധ്യമങ്ങളില്‍ രണ്ട് കോളം വലിപ്പത്തില്‍ ‘ലൈംഗികശേഷി കൂട്ടാന്‍ നായ്ക്കുരണപരിപ്പ്’ എന്ന തലക്കെട്ടില്‍ വന്നിരുന്ന പരസ്യങ്ങള്‍ മുസ്‌ലി പവറിന്‍റെ വരവോടെ അപ്രത്യക്ഷമായി. പകരം മുസ്‌ലി പവറിന്‍റെ എട്ടു കോളം പരസ്യങ്ങള്‍ മാധ്യമങ്ങളില്‍ നിറഞ്ഞു. പരസ്യങ്ങളിലൂടെ എത് കോഴി കാഷ്ഠത്തെയും ദിവ്യ ഔഷധമാക്കാന്‍ കഴിയുമെന്ന് എബ്രഹാം മുസ്‌ലി പവറിന്‍റെ പരസ്യത്തിലൂടെ മലയാളിക്ക് കാണിച്ചുകൊടുത്തു.

ലൈംഗികതയോടും ലൈംഗിക പ്രശ്നങ്ങളോടുമുളള മലയാളിയുടെ സമീപനത്തിലെ പൊള്ളത്തരങ്ങള്‍ കൂടിയാണ് എബ്രഹാം നമുക്കുമുന്നില്‍ തുറന്നുവെച്ചത്. മുസ്‌ലി പവര്‍ പോലൊരു മരുന്ന് കഴിച്ച് ലൈംഗിക ശേഷി കൂടി എന്നു ചിലപ്പോള്‍ മലയാളി പറഞ്ഞേക്കാം. എന്നാലും തനിക്ക് ലൈംഗിക ശേഷികുറവുണ്ടെന്ന് തുറന്നു പറയാനോ അതിനായി മരുന്നു കഴിച്ചിട്ടും പ്രയോജനമില്ലെന്ന് വെളിപ്പെടുത്താനോ മലയാളി മനസ്സിലെ ഈഗോ സമ്മതിക്കില്ലെന്ന് എബ്രഹാം നല്ലപോലെ മനസ്സിലാക്കിയിട്ടുണ്ട്.

അതുകൊണ്ടു തന്നെയാണ് ഇതുവരെയും മുസ്‌ലി പവറിനെതിരെ ആരും ഒരക്ഷരവും മിണ്ടാതിരുന്നതും എബ്രഹാമിന്‍റെ കച്ചവടം പൊടിപൊടിച്ചതും. എല്ലാം തുറന്നുകാട്ടുന്നുവെന്ന് അവകാശപ്പെടുന്ന നമ്മുടെ മാധ്യമങ്ങളെ എങ്ങിനെ ചൂണ്ടുവിരലില്‍ നിര്‍ത്താമെന്നും എബ്രഹാം മലയാളിക്ക് വ്യക്തമാക്കി തന്നു.

2008 ജൂലൈ ഒമ്പതിന് ഹിന്ദു ദിനപത്രമായിരുന്നു മുസ്‌ലി പവറിനെതിരെ ആദ്യ വാര്‍ത്ത പ്രസിദ്ധീകരിച്ചത്. വിജയവാഡയില്‍ നടത്തിയ റെയ്ഡില്‍ മുസ്‌ലി പവര്‍ എക്സ്ട്രാ എന്ന ലൈംഗിക ഉത്തേജക മരുന്ന് ഡ്രഗ് കണ്ട്രോളര്‍ ഇന്‍സ്പെക്‌ടര്‍ റെയ്ഡ് ചെയ്തു പിടിച്ചു എന്നായിരുന്നു ആ വാര്‍ത്ത. വാ‍ര്‍ത്ത വന്നത് ഹിന്ദുവിലായതുകൊണ്ടും സംഭവം നടന്നത് വിജയവാഡയിലായതിനാലും നമ്മുടെ മാധ്യമങ്ങള്‍ സംഭവം അറിഞ്ഞില്ല. അല്ലെങ്കില്‍ അറിഞ്ഞ ഭാവം നടിച്ചില്ല.

അടുത്തിടെ മൂവാറ്റുപുഴയിലെ മുസ്‌ലി പവര്‍ നിര്‍മാണകേന്ദ്രത്തില്‍ ഡ്രഗ് കണ്ട്രോള്‍ ഇന്‍സ്പെക്‌ടര്‍ നടത്തിയ റെയ്ഡും മുഖ്യധാരാ മാധ്യമങ്ങള്‍ക്കൊന്നും വിഷമയമേ ആയില്ല. അല്ലെങ്കിലും അതൊന്നും വാര്‍ത്തയാക്കാന്‍ അവര്‍ക്കാവില്ല. കാരണം പരസ്യത്തിനു മേലേ വാര്‍ത്തയും പറക്കില്ലെന്നാണ് മാധ്യമ മുതലാളിമാര്‍ പറയുന്നത്.

കഴിഞ്ഞ വര്‍ഷത്തെ മുസ്‌ലി പവറിന്‍റെ വാര്‍ഷിക വിറ്റുവരവ് 23 കോടി ആയിരുന്നു. ഈ വര്‍ഷം 100 കോടി രൂപയാണ് ലക്‍ഷ്യം. അടുത്തവര്‍ഷം 1500 കോടി എന്നൊക്കെ വായനക്കാരെ അറിയിക്കാന്‍ വെണ്ടക്ക അക്ഷരത്തില്‍ അച്ചു നിരത്തിയവരാണ് ഈ മാധ്യമങ്ങള്‍ എന്നോര്‍ക്കണം.

എന്തായാലുമിപ്പോള്‍ മുസ്ലീ പവര്‍ പ്രതിക്കൂട്ടില്‍ കയറിക്കഴിഞ്ഞു. മരുന്നിനെതിരെ സര്‍ക്കാര്‍ നടപടികളും നടന്നുകൊണ്ടിരിക്കുന്നു. ഇത്രയൊക്കെ ആയാലും നാളെ വേറൊരു പേരില്‍ വേറൊരു വിദ്വാന്‍ പുതിയൊരു കബളിപ്പിക്കലുമായി അവതരിക്കും. എയ്‌ഡ്സിന് മരുന്നെന്ന് പറഞ്ഞ് കോടികള്‍ സമ്പാദിച്ച മജീദിനെപ്പോലെ. അവിടേക്കും ഒഴുകും ലക്ഷക്കണക്കിന് മലയാളിപ്പണം. കാരണം ഇതില്‍ നിന്നൊന്നും നമ്മളൊന്നും പഠിക്കില്ലെന്ന് ഇന്നാട്ടിലെ എബ്രഹാമിനും മജീദിനും സന്തോഷ് മാധവനുമെല്ലാം അസലായി അറിയാം!



Courtesy: Dr. K. T. ASHIQ

Thekkanum Vadakkanum

I recently had to catch a motor rickshaw at 3 am in the morning, to reach my home from the Kannur Railway Station. You may be wondering what a motor rickshaw is.

I too till recently had thought it as a funny word when a frail, aged man (around 80-85 years) talked to me about it. What is he talking about - a motor rickshaw - funny old man - I thought. Though I tried very hard to hide my feelings about the man, he said - "I know that you are thinking funny about me. But for your information - the correct word is motor rickshaw. Motor rickshaw later became auto rickshaw, and later just auto."

To add insult to injury, he identified himself as Retd. (English) Professor in a famous University. I had nothing more to do than hide my shame (chammal) and frustration in the following words - "Ok Sir. What is the difference if you call it motor rickshaw or autorickshaw?". Saying this I left - but I learned a new word - and of course a new lesson too - never under-estimate anyone !!

Since it was dark and having nothing to do, I started a conversation with the auto driver. We talked about politics, weather... and after some time, he said:

"Your malayalam does not seem to be local. Where are you originally from?"

My friend who was with me interfered:

"Haven't you ever seen Malayalam Films? In almost all films atleast one "ACHAAYAN" kathaapaathram will be there..."

Now the talk began to center around achaayanmaar from central Kerala (Kochi) and South Kerala (Travancore) migrating to other parts of Kerala especially North Kerala (Malabar) around 50-60 years back (kudiyettam) - and about their families and their newer generations.

He seemed very skeptical about the idea of people migrating from one area to another.

"My ancestors were always in this place only. I too earn a living in this place only. What is the requirement to leave one place and go to another place?"

I thought - "How can I convince this person? How can I make this person understand?"

For a moment many things traveled thru my mind. Finally I thought - "Ok I will give him a lecture about the history of human migrations..."

"The history of human race has been that of migrations. Homo sapiens originated in some place in Africa some 200,000 or so years ago (as per generally accepted hypothesis) and migrated to different parts of the world to establish different cultures spanning the globe.

It will continue to do so - for a variety of reasons ranging from better food, shelter (etc in the older times) to better jobs, career prospects (in the modern day) and for whatsoever reasons (who knows) in the future.

It is the de facto modus operandi of all living beings including plants and trees, which while being unable to move from place to place, still employ various techniques to migrate their seeds and / or their genetic material to far away places."

While I was thinking about all these things and how to make a daring presentation so that he can understand it properly, my friend interfered:

"Why do you drive an auto? Is it manufactured in Kannur?"

"No"

"Ok. Why do you use Petrol to drive the Auto? Are Oil Rigs available in Kannur?"

"No"

"Your kids at home study with the help of electric bulbs. Are Electric Bulbs manufactured in Kannur? Does Kannur have any power plants manufacturing electricity?"

"No"

"Your wife uses kerosene. She uses cooking gas. Are these things manufactured in Kannur?"

"My wife doesn't use cooking gas. She uses kerosene any way".

"You use currency notes. Are currency notes printed in Kannur?"

"No"

"Your kids are vaccinated against diseases. Do you know of any company inventing vaccines in Kannur? Does Kannur have any companies manufacturing vaccines or medicines?"

"No"

"Each and every people living everywhere requires the help and support of other people living at far away places. Without items, goods, service, and support from other people from other places no body can live comfortably. Kannur has a lot of things - like textiles, tiles, etc. It is a give-and-take relationship with other places. That is the answer to your question."

"............................."

"Do you have some relative of yours in Gulf?"

"Yes."

"So if your relative in Kannur can go and live in some other place, earn money, and send it back, it is only natural that you should allow people from other places (including achaayaanmaar, and also people from any other place) to come and establish themselves here."

"............................."

"Achaayanmaar (or other communities) might have migrated here around 50-60 years (or less) back by legitimately buying property here. Your ancestors too has not sprout up from this place just like plants sprout up from the soil - they too certainly have migrated from some other place - may be 1000 years ago or even before that. The only thing that you can claim is that you have a seniority in migration."

"............................."

My jaws dropped. What a simple yet brilliant (and effective) explanation - something I always wanted to give - but unable to do till date. I couldn't help admiring my friend (for the first time - I should confess) for his practical wisdom and quick wit.  And I was thinking of lecturing about migration of homo sapiens from Africa...

I was also thinking about telling our "saarathi" some things related to "resource sharing" :

"All inventions and discoveries made by human race is actually available for all - for the common betterment of mankind - be it vaccines, technological innovations, and so on. It is collective effort of all human beings irrespective of cast, creed, ethnicity, culture, or one's religious or political affiliations, to improve the quality of life."

I had also thought about enlightening him with some Kerala history:

"Now regarding the history of Kerala, Kerala had been ruled by different rulers - and was split in the following line almost throughout written history - North Kerala (also called Malabar), Central Kerala, and South Kerala. Unified Kerala was formed by joining these three areas (all Malayalam speaking) on November 1, 1956. So we still sometimes call ourselves thekkan and vadakkan, and I do not know whether there is something called nadukkan :-) for people living in central Kerala."

But my (more practical) friend saved me my day (or night ?), by simply overtaking me. If I had tried to enlighten our driver with the history of African homosapiens, resource sharing or history management, I don't know what might have happened....

Adam and Eve

When my wife (sometimes) quarrel with me, I say this story to her as to why women quarrel with men frequently. I don't know whether you have already heard this story - any way let me share it with you.

According to The Bible, God created (the first woman) Eve from (the first man) Adam's ribs. Let us go back to the time when God created Man. God saw that Adam was feeling lonely - He felt that Adam requires a companion.

Now our story starts from here. God put Man (Adam) to sleep. He performed a surgery on Adam and took out one rib from him. He then stitched up Adam who was fast asleep. God decided that let Adam sleep for a while before he is woken up again.

As far as we all know, God used this particular rib to create Eve; however the actual events took place something like this:

It was a difficult surgery, and God found Himself exhausted. He called Gabriel (the Angel - is God's chief deputy), handed him the bone piece and asked him to take care of it till He returns from rest.

Gabriel waited there for a long time with the bone piece in one hand and watching the sleeping Adam. As time passed, and there was no sign of God, and he too felt sleepy. He gradually entered in to a slumber.

Enter Lucifer (the chief of Devils). He immediately estimated that whatever Gabriel is holding should be something very special (since Gabriel is very close to God). He snatched the bone piece from Gabriel and ran away.

Gabriel woke up from sleep and ran after Lucifer. After some running, Lucifer jumped into a small hole. By this time Gabriel had grabbed part of Lucifer's tail. Seeing that he had no other option, Lucifer escaped leaving part of his tail in Gabriel's hands.

Now Gabriel was in a fix. If he failed to return Adam's bone piece to God, he feared that God might turn him into another Lucifer (as had happened earlier with some of his colleagues). What was available with him was a bone piece from Lucifer's tail. When he heard God coming towards him, he quickly peeled off the skin from the tail piece...

...After some time God created Eve. He found that Adam was happy seeing his companion.

...and men and women happily (?) lived ever after.

A keen observer

Sony, indeed, is a sharp observer. Even as a boy, he was; a silent observer. He silently observed, when nobody else did, Jean teacher’s anger boiling before it spilled out to leave 5 red marks on Kochu Muthalali’s oily face. He observed, when nobody else did, the forecast of a massive heart attack on Magic Dancer’s face while the dancer was performing for us on stage. And he observed, when nobody else did, the abuse of “But” and “then” in my writing.

That's what I call keen observation. Thank you, Sony. With you, my friend, I can throw away my mirror.

But I think, the naturality is lost when you become conscious of your style as a writer. So I would rather let this style remain in me, like black moles on my forearms, or a small scar on my back (My identification marks as given in my SSLC Book), than becoming artificial.

But your comments mean a lot!

Vazhipokkan, who ?

Dr. Feroz hates liars. He asks me why I should hide my real name. I tell him, I am not hiding my name, but I am just using a pen name. He is not convinced. He says he hates people giving comments anonymously. I hate that too. I want people to stand upright and look into my eyes when they talk.

There are threat mails from “Katha Kazhikkum” and “Paashanathil Krimi” in our group mail. Though it is fun, there is always a sense of desperation when human curiosity fails to be satisfied; ie., to find out who is behind something.

I regret the moment I decided to be a Vazhipokkan, but my intention then was to be a passer by to this site and drop some comments now and then, like what a jealous crow does when you wear a new shirt.

I almost give up on this idea of pseudonym. But Dr. Feroz is kind and soft hearted (ask anyone for proof, any of his patients, …. , any girl – in reverse order, for better results), so he finally gives his nod for me to hang out as a Vazhipokkan.

I guess, you all could recognize‌ me from my earlier post. Just in case you wanna be sure, Dr. Feroz is just an email away, not a mile away (that's his Gmail punch line). Also, he advises me

“ഉത്തരമില്ലാത്ത ചോദ്യങ്ങലെക്കാലും മറു ചോദ്യങ്ങളില്ലാത്ത ഉത്തരമാണ് നല്ലത്”.

I agree. What else do you think I can do?